8.9.2024

I forgot I had to work yesterday. I had to go into work and apologise for not coming in because I had forgotten I had my schedule updated and I worked Thursdays now. All my friends are quitting that place, maybe I should quit too, but I'm scared I won't be able to find a better job. All the jobs at my university pay worse, and at least at my current job I don't have to socialise with people I hate. I hate most people at my university, they are all so fake...aggravatingly so. University makes me feel dead inside. Most things do, I guess. I'm trying so hard to try and find any meaning to my life, but I often feel useless. Part of the reason I started this webpage was to prove I could do something, that I might have some atom of talent within me. I'm not satisfied just being a "normal" person. I will never be satisfied being "average." But how can I be anything with such a cruel malaise and apathy clouding my vision, and my life? Hopefully one day I will have the answers.