Its likely already clear to you that I have been
heavily impacted by the anime "Serial Experiments Lain".
Its likely that since you use Neocities you are at least
passively familiar with it and its themes. I think about it
almost every day, and I have a lot to say. Hopefully I'll make
sense.
What is the real world? We view reality through the lens of observable
truth, but it is clear that our eyes and ears are objects
of subjectivity. So, is there truly an objective reality, or are
there billions of small, subjective realities, present in the
minds of each individual? And thus, to some,
is the virtual world more of a reality than the world of the living?
We already exist in a "virtual reality"; this website is a part of it.
In this reality, my name is Oxenfrei (or "Ox" if you are inclined).
And, in many ways, I am entirely different to the girl who goes to work or
spends time with friends and family. In this reality she exists, and she
exists nowhere else.
Lain, like myself, has a part of her that only truly exists
online. This person is, contrary to the Lain we had previously
been familiar with, lively, assertive, and extroverted. This
is the Lain of the Wired; a person developing separate from our
Lain, becoming someone entirely new. So much so, that Lain
is not able to even recognize herself.
It took some time for me to realize that these experiences were
not normal. Seeking professional help opened my eyes to the
extremity of my mental illness, particularly when it came
to dissociations and derealisation. Like with Lain, I trapped
myself in my room from a young age, developing a personality
entirely different from the timid, anxious wreck that I was.
A personality that may do things that she cannot understand she did.
Sometimes, when I (she?) look(s) at these entries, there is no
recollection of their authoring. There is an air of horror in
that idea, so I tend to not think about it.
Would it not be possible to become a god through the internet?
I mean, people already get superiority complexes and can think
of themselves as gods over the internet as is (See: Any bad
moderator on any platform, ever), and our virtual reality, unlike
our physical reality, can be entirely moulded to our wishes. To
any non-cis people, the internet is likely a bastion, where you can
completely alter your identity to that which you seek to embody. Unlike
in the physical world, where changing genders is a years-long, mind-numbing
affair, changing genders over the internet is as simple as changing your
pronouns in your bio. And so, in a sense, could the digital world not
be more preferable to the physical one? Would it not be better to live in
a world where we can live as gods as Lain does? Well, perhaps living as
a god would in fact be a terrible fate. Mortality and limits are what defines
the human experience. That is not to say that one should grow stagnant from
situations that are capable of being overcome, but to be a god would
mean to remove the human experience from all meaning. To become a god
would be to become an empty shell (a concept discussed by another anime
by the same director). The digital world may hold comfort within its cold
rays, but is it real? I can speak on how you cannot feel the rain on your
skin through a website, but technology is ever-improving, and eventually,
I'm certain, the digital reality will become near indistinguishable from
the reality you observe physically now. Much like in Lain, the borders
between the physical and digital world have already been eroded, but
are soon likely to collapse entirely, permanently altering human
perception of what reality even is.
We are all connected. The generation I exist alongside with is often
considered the first generation to be born after the widespread adoption
of the internet. So, since birth, there have been minute threads connecting
each and every person across the globe. No longer is the internet a space which
exists in isolated places (I.E. the family computer where you played Wizard 101
on, or the jank computers at your public library). Instead, there exist portals to
this virtual reality in the pockets of most people wandering the earth. These threads
are no longer bound by these spaces. Instead, they follow you.
While many spaces still exist which reflect the grungier aspects of the internet Lain often
depicted, most mainstream spaces instead seem to adopt something stranger. They have become
abstractions of our physical reality. Now, the internet is no longer only the domain
of geeks and hackers (in its original terminology). It is now the home to the ever hated..."normie". These
spaces, like a cursed painting, become more warped and unnerving the closer one looks. While from a distance
seeming like spaces for people to show themselves digitally, they are instead places for people to deceive others
(and perhaps themselves) with a warped, simplified, endlessly happy version of themselves. Yet for every
aspect that the digital world becomes more "alike" to the physical world (at least at a passing glance),
the physical world reacts in kind. Attention spans have reduced as a result of short-form digital content.
Even our lexicon has shifted due to the QWERTY keyboard. Human interaction, in many senses, has been replaced
by digital interactions. Much like Club Cyberia, the world has become a strange soup of digital and physical
interaction. Can we actually do anything about this merging of realities? Or should we just accept the tides
of fate, unable to determine what shores it takes us to? I cannot say for certain. All I know is that Lain, in
many senses, predicted the derealisation that the internet can behold, and how, one day, likely sooner than
we think, the death of the physical will not mean the death of the digital.